As a parent, you are responsible for your child. From birth to a young age, your child will not know how to take care of his/her self. This means that you must (1) take care of your child, and (2) teach your child to take care of his/her self. This can be a bumpy road if you are a first-timer, and possible full of surprises if you are not. Most parents make false assumptions about childcare during each stage of their child's development, and even more false assumptions during their second child's development.

 

Since every child is unique, and children may grow at different rates, the stages in a child's development should be determined through social interaction. Physical development can and will stray from mental development. I wish to note  here that your cooperation with your child must be balanced in a way that promotes healthy levels of both logical thinking and social thinking. A person with a normal IQ will have to balance the two and may choose one or the other, creating an unhealthy imbalance which may slightly endanger his/her ability to make healthy life choices. Higher IQ children may also develop an unhealthy interest in one or the other, usually logical thinking.

 

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Usually after 1--2 years of age up to 8--16 years, you will want your child to be obedient. Depending on how dedicated of a parent you are, and how prepared you want your child to be, these values will vary wildly. Less dedicated parents will have to use a friendly approach, when a rule is broken the child gets a firm talking to. More dedicated parents will tend to play a social game consisting of 'do this, dont do that' and active reenforcement of tasks. Eventually, the child will do certain things by his/her self and eventually you will be teaching and reminding less and giving him/her a more stern talking to when he/she forgets. If your child is not very imaginative, you will have to give him/her a few options for activities, and you may have to explain why you are upset.

 

A typical learning activity usually spans several days. You may want to include a preperation stage in which you outline all of the tasks that you are currently doing, perhaps take your child along with you for several times in a row, paying special attention to your child's level of awareness. Once your child gets comfortable with the task, casually allow or coax your child to join or take over the task, making sure your child is well capable of doing it. During the first few practice runs, make sure to speak up quickly about any little mistake but don't be negative about it. Once your child is on his/her own, check in once in a while, if your child has forgotten something, instead of criticizing, do the correct tasks yourself to remind your child of them.

 

If you thought that the above guidelines sounded familiar, you are one of many. The above technique is a naturally occurring social teaching method that can be adapted to any learning activity. If you are not too socially skilled, you may not do well on your own, this is why parents originally came in two's, but anyone with complementary social skills can help. Getting angry, using violence, and being too negative about any part of this process may result in very messed up children, and you/they/others will pay for it in their adulthood.

 

A cautionary note about leaving your child unattended with peers: There is a very serious and real risk that they will come together and think up very stupid, foolish, idiotic things that will cause your child to make bad life choices in his/her future. Many children often cause eachother to misbehave at a young age, usually from lack of instruction about how to interact with eachother, they make up social rules and forget to about the ones you have at home. A red flag would be regularly staying away from home for most of the day, the child may prefer the social environment that has been improvised with peers, however it does not mean it is a healthy environment and it does lead to misbehavior when social rules clash. It is not customary to have guided playtime in later ages, so be sure to give many tips that lead to healthy behavior and activities. Children as young as 4 can think up some pretty elaborate social rules, often these are not anything to worry about, but they may lead to extremely unrealistic ideas about the world.